by Craig Mayes on July 13th, 2010

Twenty-five years ago today I made a promise before my family, friends, God, and the most wonderful woman on the planet- that I would love her and remain her husband for my whole life- and only death could separate us. I am happy to report that we are both alive, and together.

It’s hard to believe that so much time has passed by. When we were married in 1985, we were poor, (unlike our current status in which we can’t figure out how to spend all of our money!) But while we were lacking in financial resources, we were motivated to find a way to have an exceptional honeymoon. So for almost a year, I worked a second job three evenings a week, and we were able to save up enough money to go to Hawaii. It was a wonderful week. I vividly recall the last night when we stood on Waikiki Beach at sunset, and talked about our future, and specifically mentioned our 25^th anniversary.  We knew the years would pass quickly, and that before we knew it, we would find ourselves married for 25 years. What would we look like? Would I still have hair? Would we enjoy good health?  I thought at the time that we might return to Hawaii to celebrate our 25^th.

We recorded that conversation on the beach on a small tape recorder I had brought with us for that purpose. My plan was to play it on our 25^th anniversary- maybe in Hawaii. Today I woke up, married to my bride for 25 years… in NYC- 4968 miles from Honolulu. I don’t have the tape to play- it is buried in a box back in Michigan- in my mom’s basement I think. Some day we’ll listen to our thoughts and dreams captured on tape 25 years ago, and compare them with how our lives have turned out. But I don’t need the tape to know that I really have lived a fairy tale life.

Most of all, our marriage has served to grow our relationship with God. No thing and no one has done more to help me to learn to know, love, and follow Jesus more than Chris. There is not even a close second.

And on top of that, God gave us the gift of three wonderful children, now aged 23, 21, and nearly 18. Most of my memories and my joy the last ¼ of a century are about Joshua, Megan and Caleb. I never imagined that being a father would be as exhilarating as it turned out to be. I know that I have been a much better father (yet far from perfect) than a husband. Too often Chris got the short end of the stick as much of my discretionary time went to my kids- not her. These three are the greatest gifts Chris has given to me. Today, they are up to something. They won’t tell us what- but they have something planned to help us celebrate. We know when to be ready, and what to wear. The rest is a mystery. But I don’t care what we do, as long as we are together. We celebrate marriage- and family today.

So I am wondering this morning- should I make another tape to play on our 50^th? I am still committed to “till death do us part”, though it feels less like a commitment and more like a strong, passionate desire. I hope we get another 25 years together. I can’t promise I’ll still have hair, and my mental faculties (I’m not sure I have them now- today I told someone I had to leave by noon thirty! Yes, I actually said that). But I know I will be more in love with Chris then I am now, just as I am more in love with her now than I was when I spoke into the recorder 25 years ago. Maybe we’ll take a walk along the Hudson River today, and record our conversation. It may not be Waikiki Beach, but that’s not what matters. What matters is that we are together, and we still love each other.  And I go on record saying that my wife is more beautiful, inside and out, than she was 25 years ago.